Odd Girl Speaks Out by Rachel Simmons

Author:Rachel Simmons
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

It's The Way Girls Survive

Aggression, Fear, and Revenge

In this section, writers explore the darker side of girlhood and themselves. I applaud their courage. When you grow up in a world that asks you to be nice all the time, admitting that you're not, or that you've acted in ways you regret, is a risk.

These girls write about transformations: A girl goes from riches to rags when a queen bee gets her just desserts; from victim to bully when a girl makes the decision to turn her own pain into someone else's; and from witness to bystander when a girl becomes a "bully by association."

People brush off girl bullying as a "phase" or "girls being girls" because so many girls hide their ability to hurt others. Girls reach for the impossible ideal of being nice 24/7. They're quick to say they've been victims, that they're nice, that they'd never do anything terrible like those other mean girls.

Because girls are taught that expressing anger directly is wrong, many girls (and women) have no choice but to resort to secret acts of meanness. They project an image of themselves that others think is "fake." These "nice" girls separate themselves vehemently from those who have dared to show aggression, calling them bitches and skanks. They turn "mean" girls into unfeeling monsters, rather than the human beings they really are. When "good" girls deny their own anger and punish the ones who don't, they empower the culture that is forcing them to be nice all the time.

By coming forward with their stories, these brave writers show us that the aggressors, as much as their victims, are in need of our attention, help, and compassion. These girls provide the best proof yet that girls' aggression is more than a "rite of passage," and that really good girls aren't always so nice.

I Was My Own Worst Nightmare

People think it is something one "gets over," but believe me, it's not. I was bullied in junior high and it is an experience that still affects the person I am today. It is something that will always be a part of me and something I will never forget. I really don't think I could ever forgive those girls that made my life miserable.

I was bullied, and then became the aggressor later on in life. In junior high I attended a small, upscale, private school in the Midwest. Unlike larger public schools, we had small classes of about twenty or so people. Few new kids came to our school and few kids left. It was always the same kids in the same classes, all of us together, and I believe this was a recipe for trouble.

I wasn't like the other girls. I was tall, thicker than most of the other girls. My family didn't have very much money, while the other girls came from wealthy families. My relationships with the girls were very hot and cold. One minute we were all the best of friends, but at any moment, the girls would turn on someone, usually me, and I would be completely alone.

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